• Divorce proceedings can be like engaging in warfare. You can't make strategic moves when you are an emotional mess. It is important that you keep a clear head and a clear heart. Consider adding a skilled family therapist, counselor, pastor, rabbi or priest to your "team" to help you make it through the rough patches.
  • MEN:Take it easy! Eat well. Rest and get plenty of exercise. Studies have shown that divorced and unmarried men have mortality rates up to 250 percent higher than married men. The causes of premature death in men include cardiovascular disease, hypertension and stroke.
  • MEN: Divorce also can affect a man's mental health and well being. Studies have shown that divorced men are more likely to partake in risky activities like abusing alcohol and drugs and that divorced men have a suicide rate that is 39% higher than that of married men.
  • Consider the timing of your divorce in regard to any anticipated bonuses, settlement pay-outs or expected raises at work.  Wait until it is paid out if you are worried about it being classified as marital property. On the other hand, if you are expecting a big pay-out that you do not want your spouse to be privy to you may need to accelerate the proceedings.
  • If you have been in a long term marriage try and stick it out to the 10-year anniversary for the purposes of being entitled to collect your spouse's social security.
  • Make sure your name is on everything, bank accounts, stocks, deeds for property holding, and that joint signatures are needed in order to prevent your spouse from emptying your bank accounts.
  • Make copies of all documents: tax filings; W-2 statements; business filings; loan agreements, mortgages.
  • Track down and make a list of all real (real estate) and personal (jewelry, cash, furniture, electronics, cars, motorcycles, etc.) property items.
  • Protect your credit. Don't co-sign on any new debt for your spouse.
  • Save your money. Make sure you have several months worth of cash saved. Your "rainy day" is here and you're going to need extra cash in order to remain flexible.
  • If you and your spouse are amicable try and talk through the terms for child custody (sole or joint); spousal support; health care insurance; pension divisions and child support.
  • If you are being abused, document it with pictures and printed records. Do alert the authorities if the abuse is physical.
  • Remember that ultimately the judge is the deciding factor in who gets what and how much. Strengthen your resolve and don't allow your spouse to talk you out of what rightfully belongs to you as a result of your marriage.
  • If you are sure that you are headed for divorce, try and be the one to file first.